What's wrong?

So my mind hasn't been in a good place lately. I've not been able to sleep, wake up early and fall asleep really late, tired because of it, and I've been crying to much. I know I'm depressed but I don't know why. Well I kinda know why but I don't want to admit that that is why I'm depressed because I'm the one everyone thinks is strong, and I let them think that because that's who I want to be. I need....well I need a job for one, but I also need some time to be ok with this thing that is making me depressed and it's something I've been trying to be ok with for years but lately it's really getting to me. I don't really want to talk about it but I know that I should because that's how people get better so I figured I'd talk about it without talking about it. On here...where no one really listens anyways.