Tuesday, February 11, 2014

waiting for anti-valentines day

So, my friend Katlyn and I made plans to go to this anti valentines day party at the majestic theater on friday. I was originally going to stay home and wallow in self pity, but my parents weren't going to go out if I did, so I asked Katlyn if she wanted to go dancing.

I am ever so glad I made these plans now that it's tuesday and my parents had a little spat and aren't talking to each other. I don't even have the advantage of reading to ignore it because I'm reading a bibliography (another one) for my history class. That sucks because now I have to hear my dad tell me my mom is a bitch and I actually have to comment "hey shut up I'm not taking a side in this". And I have to force my mom to eat because she's not hungry when she's mad.

So in doing all this I can just think "It's just until Friday", which if I was staying home I probably would have to deal with it because I'm not sure they're feeling very "happy valentines day" this year.

So that's that. Again, thank you Katlyn for being there for me. For my other friends, thanks; even though you all have boyfriends so you aren't really invited to go with us lol. Thanks, also to the random people that read my blog.

Maybe I'll actually enjoy this valentines day....we'll see.

Sunday, February 9, 2014


So I'm just going to take a second vent about something that someone said that's been bothering me.

So someone commented the other day (not saying whom this someone is) they were afraid that I would marry the first guy I ever dated.

Now this bothered me because, though I know they say it because that's what my brother did, but it makes me feel like they don't think I can really think for myself. Everyone knows how independent I am, heck I've had to be that way. It's not like I haven't wanted to have a boyfriend. I'm not going to marry the guy just because I let him get into my pants, it's not the 18th century. It's not like I've thought of becoming desperate and locking myself away. I've cried so many times just wondering what was so wrong with me that I cant get a boyfriend. I've watched my friends dance with guys at proms with me sitting on the sidelines hoping they don't see me cry. I've cried myself to sleep totally convinced I was ugly. It's not like I want it to be that way. I cant prove you wrong because for whatever reason I cant seem to get a boyfriend to start with.

And if I do end up marrying my first boyfriend then that's really my business. Trust my judgment because it would be my decision, and my life. It's not like I would be forcing you to marry the guy.

So that's that. That's my long venting session over with. I'm going to go spend some time with my nephew now.