Note to self

I know you're trying to not think about it. I know that's why you are immersing yourself in your schooling. It seems like it's working, right? Yet really you know it's not because I noticed you do whatever it takes to not think about it. Keep in mind; when you start to break down from all the pushed away emotion, you knew it was going to happen. Whatever you do: don't show it, people just tell you you're stupid. Or if they believe you, they sympathize and that's worse. Break down alone this time. You are not a desperate person. You are not a person who needs sympathy. You hate crying. You are not a desperate person! You are not a person who needs OR WANTS sympathy! You hate crying! YOU ARE NOT A DESPERATE PERSON! YOU ARE NOT A PERSON WHO NEEDS OR WANTS SYMPATHY! YOU HATE CRYING! If no one knows how I'm feeling this time the break down will go away quicker. It usually does. You are strong! You are happy! You are awesome! And you can do this!